I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize