I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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