he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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