Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize