I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize