I heard we made out
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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