I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize