if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He passed out mid-signature
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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