You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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