I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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