I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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