I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
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I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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