this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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