It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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