I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize