people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He did a backflip because drugs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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