i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize