Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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