I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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