i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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