On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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