When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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