I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
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