your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize