its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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