am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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