You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize