come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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