At least make sure they are 18
Why
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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