My nipple is on Facebook.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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