i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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