honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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