I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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