I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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