a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize