I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize