Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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