Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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