i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize