the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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