i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize