the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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