Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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