As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize