I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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