It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize