I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
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lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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