New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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