ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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