i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize